Learning how to be non toxic can be a frustrating process.
You feel like you keep running into a brick wall.
You’re tired, you’re lonely, frustrated, and want to pull your hair out.
And if you’re used to mainly being surrounded by toxic people, then it can even feel overwhelming and isolating at times.
But, when you have a straightforward clear-cut guide on how to be less toxic, things can be much much simpler.
If only you had access to a simple guide on how to be non toxic…

How To Be Non Toxic
Although most of my articles are listed in order, this one is not.
You do not need to go in the order these steps are listed, and they are not listed in order of importance either.
All 7 of these steps are important and will carry you to the places you desire to go (becoming non toxic).
1. Be Okay With Being Wrong
If you want to learn how to be less toxic, then you need to learn how to be okay with being wrong.
You will be wrong at some point in your life, probably a lot more than you give yourself credit for.
We are all wrong and none of us know what we’re doing here. If someone has convinced you that they have all the answers, it is merely that, convincing.
No one has all the answers. It’s not possible.
The best thing you can do is strive to be less wrong than you were the day before, and the only way to do that is to accept that there will come a time when you’re wrong.
And I want to take it a step further, not only do you need to accept that you will be wrong eventually, but learn to be okay with it too.
I know for some of us who grew up in a household where people made fun of you for being wrong, it can be difficult to do this.
But it’s not impossible.
Being wrong doesn’t make you dumb, unworthy, or incapable of learning anything. It just means you were wrong and you now have an opportunity to correct it. That’s it.
And if it helps you any, I am wrong allllll the time.
I get stuff wrong, I make mistakes, I say the wrong thing, I say too much of something, I respond the wrong way, and I overthink way too much sometimes and it leads me to the wrong conclusion.
And guess what?
It’s okay because I’m human and I’m doing my best. I correct my mistakes, ask for forgiveness, and move right along with my day.
Related Article: How To Change Yourself In 30 Days (According To The Greats)
2. Learn How To Accept Being Told “No”
If you want to learn how to be non toxic, you also need to learn how to accept “no” for an answer.
One of the most toxic things you can do is disrespect someone’s boundaries, especially after they’ve made it clear to you.
Is not accepting someone’s “no” as an answer really that toxic? YES, 100%.
It doesn’t matter whether they’re your spouse, partner, best friend, brother, sister, mom, dad, grandma, whoever. If someone says “no” and you go ahead and do it anyway you’re being toxic.
End of discussion.
You have to learn to take “no” for an answer if you want to learn how to be non toxic. If you’re not used to being told “no” or just simply don’t like hearing it, this will be uncomfortable at first.
Like literally hearing the word can bring physical discomfort, but it’s okay because all growth comes with discomfort.
Know that that discomfort will not last forever, there will be a day when it doesn’t even phase you to hear the word “no” and that it also means that you are making real progress.
It’s always progress over perfection.
3. Take A Moment To Reflect On Yourself
Learning how to be less toxic means that you, at some point, need to self-reflect.
It is not an option.
How can you improve yourself, without knowing what you’re doing? How can you become non toxic without knowing the toxic things you are doing?
You can’t.
Every couple of months, take time (about 10+ minutes) to sit down and look at what you’re doing.
- Who you are vs who you say you are
- Who you are today and how that is or is not helping you get to your goals
- Your mindset
- Your habits
- Your attitude
Watch how you’re moving so you can figure out how to move better.
Pro Tip: Do not judge yourself while you’re reflecting. Observe, pay attention, take notes, but don’t judge.
Judging yourself and your previous habits is only going to set back your progress.
Only take this time to reflect. (What am I doing and how can I do it better not what am I doing, oh why am I doing that, I’m such as bad person, woe is me, blah blah blah)
Learn More: 70 Journal Prompts For Self Growth (Immediate Results!)
4. Pay Attention
And once you’re done reflecting, continue to pay attention to your actions on a daily basis.
Becoming less toxic doesn’t mean spring cleaning once a year and going back to being mindlessly toxic.
It means you continuously work on yourself little by little, every single day.
Isn’t that a lot of work, though? Yes, yes it is, but isn’t being in toxic draining relationships a lot of work? (yes)
Isn’t having to do everything by yourself and having no one to rely on because you drove every good thing in your life away with your toxic behavior a lot of work? (yes)
Everything is a lot of work. You just choose what you’re going to work hard on.
I suggest you pay attention to:
- How you’re speaking to people (especially those you love)
- How you’re speaking to yourself
- How you’re responding (especially when things aren’t going your way)
- Your attitude
- What you’re choosing to focus on during the day (more positive things or more negative things?)
Again don’t judge yourself, just pay attention.
If you do wind up making a mistake, notice where you went wrong (without judging yourself), correct it (if you can), apologize, and move forward, in that order.
5. Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You
This step right here will save you more times than you can count. Sometimes when we’re being toxic we don’t realize it.
Other times it’s because we’re not putting ourselves in the other person’s shoes.
Either way it goes, as you’re continuing to grow as a person, always always always remind yourself “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”.
If you wouldn’t want someone cussing you out and you would rather them be patient with you, then you need to have patience with them.
If you wouldn’t want someone disrespecting your boundaries, don’t do it to them.
If you would want someone to be a listening ear, then be a listening ear for someone else.
After all, what goes around comes around, so I strongly suggest you do what you would want other people to do for you.
This one saying can stop your (toxic) thoughts right in their tracks and remind you to put yourself in the other person’s shoes.
6. Get Out Of Your Head
Sometimes toxic behavior can also stem from overthinking.
You’re all up in your head, running wild with different conclusions, and most of the time those conclusions are wrong and lack context.
It can also cause you to only look at things from your point of view.
Get out of your head. There is more than one way to look at something, and again, you very well could be wrong.
How do you get out of your head? 3 ways: run, meditate, or journal.
Read More: 7 Disadvantages Of Personal Development + How To Overcome It
7. Stop, Ask, And Roll
What do I mean by this? Instead of immediately reacting to whatever is bothering you, stop, ask yourself a more productive question, and roll with what you’re working with.
What is a productive question? A question that either opens up your mind or leads you to a productive place either with yourself or other people.
For example:
Productive question: How can my partner and I approach this where we can both be on the same page?
Unproductive question: Should I just break up with him/her?
Productive question: What are they maybe seeing that I’m not seeing?
Unproductive question: Why are they so dumb?
And what do I mean by roll with what you’re working with? Go with the flow.
Not everything is going to go exactly how you want it and not everyone is going to do or think exactly what you want them to.
Roll with the punches and control what you can (your response, your attitude, and your behavior).

Advice On How To Be Non Toxic
1. It’s Going To Take Time And The Process Isn’t Linear
Learning how to be non toxic is going to take time and the process will not be linear. I repeat, the process will NOT be linear.
You will have ups and downs, and you need to be patient through the process.
You’re not a robot where you’re going to automatically be programmed to perform the best results, and even then, most technology still does dumb stuff (I’m talking about you Apple Maps).
Be patient with yourself.
2. You Will Have Setbacks
And speaking of ups and downs, you will also have setbacks.
You will have moments where you go back to your old ways. You will have moments where you just burst out in anger and frustration, and you will have moments where you feel like you’re not doing enough.
This is all a part of the process.
Having those moments, sometimes days or even weeks, does NOT define your journey. Again, it means you’re human.
It’s good to go ahead and accept the fact that you’ll have setbacks along the way now because when they happen, you’ll be more likely to give yourself grace and less likely to look at those setbacks as defining moments.
It’s easy to feel discouraged during those setbacks.
It’s also easy to think that those moments define your whole journey and you’re just like “Ugh see I can’t do this” but you can, my friend.
You can do this and those moments are just moments, not the whole journey.
Learn More: 15 Good Goals To Set For Yourself | Challenge Yourself Today!
3. You May Be Alone For A While
There is a strong chance that you may be alone in this journey, for a while, especially if you’re surrounded by a lot of toxic family members (for now).
For this, my best piece of advice is to learn how to be okay with being alone and learn how to be alone without feeling lonely.
How can you achieve this?
By changing how you look at it, which is nice because you should already be working out your outlook and attitude anyway.
Instead of looking at it like “Ohhh I’m so lonely” look at it like “This a great opportunity to ____”.
Instead of looking at it like “I hate being alone” look at it like “Even though I don’t like being alone at least I can _____”.
It’s all about your outlook.
4. Realize Being Non Toxic Doesn’t Mean You Become Perfect
My last but not least piece of advice is don’t think that becoming a non toxic person means that you’re perfect because you’re not.
No one is perfect and literally no one can achieve perfection.
Learning how to be non toxic simply means you make the choice, every day, to do your best to be your best.
It doesn’t mean you can do no wrong, no one can criticize you, you’re above the law, you’re entitled to things, or you’re better than someone else.
It just means you’re willing to realize you have some toxic ways AND do the work to do your best to be your best.
It doesn’t make you better than ANYONE, including some toxic people in your life.
We’re all trying to do the best with the hand we were dealt, even if it doesn’t appear that way for some people.
And learning how to become better doesn’t mean you’re suddenly in a position to criticize other people either, this is for you and you only.
Yes, you can do this to break generational curses and help build a better future for the next generation(s) but that doesn’t mean you’re doing it for them, you’re still doing it for you.
Conclusion On How To Be Non Toxic
So there you have it, how to be non toxic in 7 simple steps.
Will it be a nice walk in the park the entire time? No.
Will you have days where you revert back or are stagnant? Yes.
Will it be extremely rewarding to not only you but the future generations in your family? Absolutely.
You showing up for yourself and your future is far more than what most people can say today, so for that I want you to give yourself a pat on the back. Go ahead, I’ll wait.
And before you go, I want you to remember: you are seen and you are very much appreciated.
No matter what, keep putting one foot in front of the other. You’ve got this!
Thank you for being here, and comment down below to let me know which step you plan to take first.
Peace out my good people.
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