Why is it so hard to move on from a friendship?
Well, because it’s almost like a death in your life. It is a death in your life, and it sucks because they’re not dead.
They were supposed to be your ride or die, someone who would be at your wedding and there even if you got divorced or had kids. But that’s not how things worked out and that’s okay! Actually, you should be grateful it didn’t work out because it saved you from someone who wasn’t worth your time. I know you’re still going to have unsettled feelings about the situation and luckily for you, you’re right where you need to be. Here are 5 rules to moving on from your best friend who hurt you.
How to move on from a friendship breakup
1. Block them
Make things simple for yourself and block them. There’s no need to keep the lines of communication open for someone that has consistently crossed your boundaries or treated you like crap. Trash them.
Well, what if they need me? They can find someone else.
What if they want to reconcile? Shoulda, woulda, coulda. They should’ve acted right the first 5 chances they got.
What if they change? They’re not. If they wanted to be a good friend to you then they would’ve. And let’s keep it real, most people who are horrible friends to you are at war with themselves, and you can’t change that about someone.
Forget about the “what if’s” and just move on. It hurts now but I promise it will pay off in the long run.
2. Stop talking about it to other friends
You’re probably doing one of three things.
- You’re seeking validation that you made the right decision
- You’re trying to work through your own emotions by talking with other people
- You made the right decision.
If someone is treating you like you’re less than others, disrespecting your boundaries, competing with you, or any of these toxic friendship signs, then they deserve to be cut off.
You don’t deserve shallow people in your life. You deserve people who will uplift, motivate, and inspire you. You made the right decision.
2. Your best bet to work through your emotions is to go within. I mean that’s where they originated from *insert shrugging shoulder emoji*.
Just word vomit either in your notes on your phone or a good ole piece of paper. If you don’t know where to start, then start by writing down what happened and how that made you feel.
3. Stop replaying what went down
Speaking of not talking about it with other friends over and over again, you also need to stop replaying your dysfunctional friendship in your head.
It happened; you can’t change it. You shouldn’t want to change it because it gave you all of the answers that you need. That person saved you so much time in your life, it’s not even funny.
You know what happened, replaying it in your head doesn’t do anything but make you mad or sad all over again. Fill your mind and your time with something more productive. Don’t know where to start, here’s a list of 55 productive things to do when you’re bored.
4. Understand what you bring to the table
This is going to help you accept the reality of the situation.
They are not your kind of people, despite you feeling like they were in the past. You have vibrant, golden energy.
Why would you waste your time on someone who can’t see that?
And this isn’t about you vs. them or how you’re better than them; this is about assessing the situation at hand. You’re this kind of person, and they’re that kind of person. The two of you just simply aren’t a match and that’s okay.
5. Remember, you are making room for someone worth being in your life
You need to remain optimistic.
Yes, you lost someone in your life and it’s going to hurt for a minute, but in times like these you HAVE to look at the brighter side.
You are literally making room for someone who
- Has their priorities straight
- Aligns with what you want out of life
- Has good vibes and good energy
- Will not judge you
- Will inspire and motivate you
- See you for who you are
So, when you’re feeling down about losing that one friend (which is absolutely normal to feel), think about all of the amazing things you are gaining.