How in the world does she have all that confidence? It’s like it comes so naturally to her.
Well, my friend, it does come naturally to her. Why? Because it is a natural thing.
WAIT. I know it may not be natural for you right now, but that doesn’t mean you can’t change that.
When you were a baby and were learning how to walk, do you know how many times you fell? Countless times, but did you ever decide to just give up? Clearly not. You were confident that you could do it; it was just about not giving up.
However, as you grew older, you were exposed to the thoughts and opinions of other (more than likely defeated) adults. People convincing you that you can’t do this or that, only because THEY “couldn’t do it” (aka they gave up).
Fortunately, though, this damage can be reversed, and you can get back the confidence that God literally instilled in you from the moment you got here. If you follow these 9 powerful steps, you will come to find a confidence in yourself that you never thought you had.
How do I gain confidence in myself?
1. Keep saying that you’re confident
The same way you keep telling yourself that you’re not confident, tell yourself that you ARE confident. Flip the script.
Say out loud or in your head every day, “I am so confident in myself”. If you think to yourself, “but I’m not” then challenge that thought.
- Why are you not confident?
- Who is telling you this?
- What is stopping you from being confident?
It’s funny, our minds are so powerful, yet they’re so easy to trick. When you keep telling yourself that you’re confident you will literally start to feel it. Try it out and see yourself.
When you wake up in the morning, smile. I don’t care what mood you’re in, just smile. It’s free and it takes less than 3 seconds.
- When you’re outside, smile.
- When you walk into the room, smile.
- When you’re in a conversation, smile.
Now don’t go off looking like a creep, be cool about it.
3. Stop second-guessing yourself
You’ve come to a conclusion for a reason, and even if you wind up being wrong it was still for a reason. Your being wrong, still caused you to come to the right answer, so it needed to happen that way.
When you think of something, go with it. All of the experiences that you have in life, all of the things that you’ve witnessed and gone through, you have come out on the other side of it, alive and well. You should be proud of that.
Use what you’ve gathered over the years, and understand that when you come to a conclusion, it’s based on your own previous experiences in life. That’s what everyone else is doing.
4. Learn to be okay with being wrong and making mistakes
Confident people are okay with making mistakes because they look at it as an opportunity to learn and grow. So, the next time they come across it, they know what to do because instead of beating themselves up about making a mistake they chose to learn from it and move on.
Those who are not okay with being wrong are constantly wrong. Those who are not okay with making mistakes are constantly making mistakes.
Why? Because whatever you focus on is what you bring into your reality, and when all you’re focused on is not making mistakes or never being wrong, that’s what you’ll get. However, when you’re focused on learning and growing, that’s what you’ll get.
5. Drown out what people have to say
There are those who love and care about you; the people who want nothing but the best for you. And then there’s everyone else.
I’m almost certain that the first group of people mentioned (those who have your best intentions in mind) is probably a small number, meaning the number of people you should actually be listening to is a small number. Everyone else can go kick rocks.
What would be the point in listening to people who
- Don’t know you?
- Don’t care about you?
- Don’t know what they’re talking about?
When those people (the people who don’t care about you) are trying to tell you about you or just simply talking about something they know nothing about, give them that nod and “uh huh”. They’ll eventually go away.
Or better yet, you could just walk away. They probably don’t care about what you have to say so why care about what they have to say?
6. Prioritize what you think over what someone else thinks
For example, someone thinks you’re loud, but you think you’re passionate. Who is right?
No one and that’s the beauty of it.
No single person has all of the right answers, so that means most things are just based on perception. So why would you listen to someone else’s perception of the world over yours? It makes no sense, ESPECIALLY when it comes to you.
You are the only person in this world who truly knows you, so why worry about someone else’s perception over your own?
7. Chin up, posture straight
- How do confident people walk?
- How do they talk?
- How do they present themselves to the world?
- Walk with their chin parallel to the floor, shoulders back, and a smile on their face (sometimes)
- They speak like they know what they’re talking about (Refer to #8)
- They dress to impress. No wrinkles, no stains, no dusty-looking clothes.
- They smell good, their teeth are brushed, their nails are done, and their hair is done.
I would like to note that having your nails done doesn’t mean acrylic nails. Having your nails done means there’s no dirt under your nails, they’re filed and taken care of. You don’t need to spend $40+ for your nails/hair to be done.
If you’re wanting to relearn how to be confident, then you need to have a clear blueprint of what the confident version of you looks like. Start with the above bullet points.
8. Say it like you mean it
Do your research before you start talking about something.
Since you took out the time to learn, that now means you know what you’re talking about. So, say it like you mean it.
Why would you not? If you’ve done the necessary research beforehand, why would you let someone who doesn’t even know what you’re talking about convince you otherwise?
If it helps, envision yourself being a teacher and they’re your student. If/when they challenge you, don’t sweat it because remember it’s okay to be wrong. This is all about learning.
9. Remind yourself of your natural confidence
You were literally designed to be confident.
- When you first learned how to crawl, it didn’t come easy.
- When you first learned how to walk, it didn’t come easy.
- When you first learned how to talk, it didn’t come easy.
But you still persisted. You weren’t designed to give up. If you were, you wouldn’t even be existing today.
Your ancestors were the ones who triumphed; that’s why you’re still here. You are the offspring of winners, get into it.