Everyone talks about the advantages of personal development, and there are plenty of them, but what about the disadvantages of personal development?
Well, my friend, here they are.
All of the disadvantages of personal development, in one simple list. Granted, there aren’t a lot, but these will be things that you’ll encounter as you continue to improve yourself.
All of them are temporary and all of them will eventually be replaced with something 1000x better, in due time.
So with that being said, let’s get straight into it.
Disadvantages Of Personal Development
1. Less Friends (In The Beginning)
One of the most common disadvantages of personal development is losing a lot of your friends and family.
It’s not that you’re actually losing them, but you feel like you are because the more you continue on your journey of improving yourself and your life, the more you realize how unproductive and toxic your old group of friends/family are.
It’s a weird place to be because it’s not that you can’t be around them, but a (large) part of you doesn’t want to anymore because they’re lowkey annoying, draining, and not fun to be around.
A lot of times, you will go through this transition period where you still try to hang out with them, but it’s usually awkward and you guys don’t really want to talk about the same thing.
Advice: Be okay with being alone and know there is a difference between being alone and being lonely.
Just because you’re more alone than you were before, doesn’t mean you have to feel lonely. If you do feel lonely, try to find things that you can do alone so you can become more comfortable with it.
Read More: 101 Me Time Ideas Budget Friendly (All Year Round)
2. A Lot Of People Will Look At You Like You’re Extra Or Doing Too Much
Another big disadvantage of personal development is that there will be some people in your life who will accuse you of being:
- Extra
- High maintenance
- Too good to be around them
Usually, this is because seeing you doing better for yourself makes them uncomfortable because it shows them the gap between where they want to be and where they are.
And instead of them joining you on the road to becoming the best version of yourself, they would rather talk crap.
They will also tend to have this attitude if you’re merely choosing better for yourself or placing boundaries with them because a lot of toxic people HATE boundaries.
Get used to it.
Advice: Learn how to say “f**k you” in your head more often. It works wonders.
3. It Can Be Annoying And Frustrating (At Times)
When you’re in that in-between space of letting go of your old self and making new habits for your new self, it can be very frustrating at times.
This is because it takes time to get rid of old habits, and usually as you’re letting them go, you don’t automatically not want them anymore.
For example, if you’re deciding to stop drinking, even though it’s a goal you have decided for yourself, you still run across days and moments where you want to drink and you literally have to tell yourself “no”.
Those are the times I’m talking about.
Like when the old you would’ve cussed someone out for something but the new you is like “Nah that’s not the reaction I want to have” or the old you would’ve stepped outside and smoked when you were annoyed but the new you is like “No we promised ourselves we were choosing better”.
During this transition period, things will be annoying.
Advice: Look at the annoyances as a rite of passage.
4. You Will Feel Lonely At Times (Not Forever)
Another one of the big disadvantages of personal development is that you will feel lonely at times.
This usually happens when a lot of the people in your life, currently, do not want to improve themselves.
Listen, wanting to do the right thing can be hard to come by nowadays. A lot of people say they want to do the right thing, but very seldom do, so when you choose to actually do the right thing, it can feel lonely because it’s almost like you’re the only one doing it.
You feel like you don’t really have anyone to talk to or relate to, but I want to tell you something.
You are not alone.
That was the whole reason why I created this website, was to have a community of people who want better for themselves.
I know how frustrating, lonely, and overwhelming this process can be. If you ever need someone to talk to or even vent to, reach out. I would love to hear from you!
You guys are a part of my family, please don’t try to do this alone.
5. You Will Feel Bored (Not Forever)
Usually, when one decides to further improve themself or their life, social media is one of the things that makes it on the list of things that need to go.
If this is something that applies to you, then just expect yourself to feel bored at times.
Even if you make more time for hobbies that bring you joy or better your life, you will still probably feel bored and it’s because that new hobby of yours doesn’t flood your dopamine receptors like endlessly scrolling does.
I remember when I stopped getting on Instagram, Tiktok, and Youtube it was a struggle.
It actually took me almost a full year to stop all three because when I would stop one, I would just get on the other one.
And when I finally stopped getting on all three, I literally didn’t know what to do with myself, even though I had plenty of articles to write and plenty of things on my to-do list.
If you want to quit social media altogether, my best piece of advice to you is to just stick with it.
Delete all the apps, and do not download them again.
Create a better routine for yourself so you can fill the time with something else, and stick with it. Eventually, you will not have the desire to get on it, and there will come a day when you will get back on it and realize how freaking boring it was.
Be careful, when you do get back on it though, because it can and will literally suck you back in. Keep your time on it limited.
More Advice: Just because it’s boring, doesn’t mean it’s bad for you. Your phone is a tool, not a toy. Once you start treating it like a toy, it will start treating you like a joke.
6. It Can Be Exhausting At Times
You will also, at times, feel like you’re fighting yourself because in a sense you are.
I say “in a sense” because you shouldn’t technically be fighting yourself but sometimes as you’re letting your old habits go and choosing your new habits, it can feel like a battle between what you want versus what you need.
And all of this can feel exhausting.
You won’t necessarily feel as exhausted as working a full day outside, in the heat, but you will feel some sort of exhaustion.
However, this exhaustion is temporary.
There will be a day when you will just automatically choose those “new” habits and won’t even give the old ones a second thought.
Advice: On the days when you feel exhausted, keep yourself focused on the light at the end of the tunnel. Better things are coming.
7. You Don’t Find Joy In Some Of The Things You Used To Find Joy In
The last but not least disadvantages of personal development is you will no longer find joy in what you used to find joy in, at least not with the things that were bad for you.
Things like vaping, smoking, drinking, partying, hanging out with lowlifes, endlessly scrolling, binge-watching TV, and ignoring your responsibilities, etc will no longer seem fun to you because really and truly they were never really fun, to begin with (for most people).
A lot of us get mind-numbing activities confused with fun, but once you quit doing those things and actively choose better, over time, those things lose their pizzazz and you may even start to feel guilty for doing them.
This isn’t too bad though because even though the old things aren’t really fun anymore, that just means the new things become more and more fun or relaxing to do.
The Dangers Of Personal Development (What To Look Out For)
Now that we know the disadvantages of personal development, I want to share with you the dangers of personal development, or things you really need to watch out for.
1. People Trying To Sell You A Bunch Of Stuff
Alright, so I just want you to be prepared that you are going to run across those personal development gurus, coaches, masters, whatever and many of them are going to try to sell you something.
- Courses
- Apps
- Ebooks
- Books
And it is solely your choice to buy them. Do you need that ebook, course, app, etc to become better? NO.
A lot of the information that you will receive in those courses is typically something you can get for free.
Does that mean you shouldn’t buy any ebook, course, app, etc at all? No, but what it does mean is that you should have a healthy dose of skepticism.
- Is this person genuinely trying to help their audience or are they just selling a bunch of stuff that they themselves don’t actually believe in?
- Does this person have a history of being honest and straightforward? Or does this person tend to do a lot of fear-mongering and “You don’t want to miss out on ____” or “You need this to succeed”?
- Does this person actually try to have a connection with their audience?
- How expensive is the course, ebook, app, etc? Is it marked up wayyy more than other personal development tools?
The best way to get your answers to these questions is to spend time getting to know the person you’re about to buy from and spend time reading their FREE content first.
You do not have to have that ebook, course, etc. You can take your time to vet this person out.
PS; that sale that they’re having will come back again and sometimes if you refresh your browser the sale will pop back up… or if you create a new email and use the new email the sale will pop back up…those sales are usually nothing more than a marketing tactic.
2. Staying In Hustle Mode
Another danger of personal development is getting stuck in hustle mode. This is very very very easy to do once you get “locked in” so to speak.
But just because it’s easy to do and just because you have a goal you want to reach, doesn’t mean you need to become sociopathically obsessed with said goal.
While it is great that you are working hard and staying focused, there are other aspects to life, and you need to remember to keep a balance.
The whole point of personal development is not to develop an obsession, it’s to develop yourself, usually multiple aspects of yourself too, not just one.
Mastering one thing at a time does not mean you let every other aspect of your life fall to the wayside either.
3. Being Way Too Hard On Yourself
And speaking of being stuck in hustle mode, another thing you want to look out for while you’re developing yourself is being extremely hard on yourself.
This is something I personally struggled with.
A lot of times, when you’re in the mode of wanting better for yourself, you will come down on yourself HARD.
I want to remind you, this is also not the point in personal development either.
While it’s good to hold yourself accountable, you don’t need to bully yourself.
- It’s okay to make mistakes.
- It’s okay to take a few steps back.
- It’s okay to have slip-ups.
- It’s okay to let some balls drop (like the saying ‘I dropped the ball’)
- It’s okay to say something wrong.
What truly matters is that you’re willing to catch yourself. The mistake itself is not the issue; the issue is when you don’t see a problem with hurting others or yourself (including your future self).
As long as you’re willing to be responsible and accountable for your actions, and take the necessary steps to get back on track and do better, then you’re right where you need to be.
Do NOT use this as a time to criticize, condemn, complain, judge, or belittle yourself. Be proud of what you’re doing, and know that many people do not take that path.
You’re doing great. Just keep a balance.
4. Becoming A Perfectionist
Learning how to develop yourself is also not the time to become a perfectionist or lean into your traits of perfectionism.
Self-improvement is not about being perfect. It’s about doing your best, and your best each day is going to look different.
For example, my best today was doing my laundry, cleaning my bathroom, writing 2,500 words, taking a walk, and making a smoothie. My best yesterday was reading 10 pages of a good book and that’s it.
Your best is not going to look the same each day, but as long as you’re doing your best that’s what counts.
Your results do not need to be perfect either. As a matter of fact, most of the time some of the best things you love (a good recipe, song, book, movie, TV show, person, etc) started out kind of ugly.
Do it ugly and do it proud, you can perfect it as you go along.
5. Trying To Change Everyone Else Around You
Ahhh yes, another thing that I am guilty of.
It is very easy to do, but you should avoid doing it at all costs because it is not fair to your loved ones.
Let me say this, though, as you are developing yourself, you will wind up cutting off people (we talked about this earlier), and a lot of times you will wind up either being alone or only having maybe 2 or 3 people in your life and that’s it.
If you wind up having only 2 or 3 people in your life, do NOT try to take them with you on your journey.
What I mean by this is trying to inspire them to do their inner work because it usually does not work and if it does work it usually does not last.
If they become inspired by you on their own, then great, but if they don’t then great. It is not on you to change them, though.
You have to accept them for who they are (as long as they’re not hurting you or others) and leave it at that. You can NOT change people and you should NOT try to. It will NOT work and it’s lowkey kind of selfish.
6. Having Extremely High Expectations (Including For Other People Who Say They Want To Change)
Another thing you want to watch out for is having very high expectations.
Yes, you should hold yourself accountable and push yourself to your full potential, but no you should not go into this thinking that personal development means “this” or “that”.
Personal development is you doing your best at doing your best. That is going to be something different for each person, for each year in their life, for each day (because each day brings and requires something different).
Let go of the high expectations and just get to work.
7. Losing Key Parts Of Yourself To Be Like Someone Else
The last danger of personal development is losing key parts of what makes you, you.
Don’t just blindly follow someone on YouTube and become exactly like them because they seem to be what you want to become (keyword here is “seem”).
First of all, you have no idea what this person is like off-camera. Second of all, you have no idea what this person goes through off-camera. Third of all, the point of this is to do your best each day, not to turn into an entirely different person.
Again, balance.
Don’t forget to keep the things that make you, you.
You are unique and the world needs more people like you, don’t throw that away for something that seems new and shiny.
Further develop who YOU are, add the positive characteristics that will carry you to your dreams, take away the negative characteristics that are holding you back, and stay true to yourself.
Read More: How To Find Yourself Again | Guaranteed Results In 30 Days
A Reminder On Personal Development
You’ve got this.
Conclusion On Disadvantages Of Personal Development
While personal development is something that is very commendable and something I think most people should look into, it does still have its ups and downs.
Of course, the advantages farrrr outweigh the disadvantages of personal development, but I still think it’s something worth sharing because like I said, you WILL come across these things.
And it’s better to be prepared for them than to think that this is going to be a walk in the park and then be blindsided by them and feel like it’s a sign for you to give up (like I did).
Which disadvantage shocked you the most?
Did I miss any disadvantages of personal development, if so, let me know in the comments, I would love to hear from you!
That’s it from me today, my good people, I will see you in the next article.
Peace!
Related Posts
70 Journal Prompts For Self Growth (Immediate Results!)
How To Be Assertive Without Being Rude
13 Barriers To Achieve Goals You Need To Know About
