We’ve all been there before. Why is he ignoring me now I thought he liked me? Or why does he ignore me and then come back?
It sucks to be ignored, especially by someone who you would do virtually anything in order to get their attention. How could they just pass up this beautiful person that wants to give them literally everything they have to offer?
Well, the answer is obviously not that simple but after reading this article you will come to find out why you’re being ignored and why it’s actually a good thing. Just hear me out.
Do guys test you by ignoring you?
Males are very simple, loosely speaking. It’s not hard to tell what a male wants because when he wants it, he wants it. He will do anything in his power to get it and make sure that whatever it is he wants knows that.
Women on the other hand are more complex, loosely speaking.
I like to joke that if there were a book for women and men, women would need a trilogy while men would need just one book, with about 50 pages. They’re very straightforward, but this isn’t about women vs men. This is just to give you a reference on how simple men really are. They’re not just saying it; it’s a way of life for them.
That being said, if a man/boy is ignoring you it’s the biggest sign that he’s just not into you. The faster you accept this, the faster you will find the right one.
And yes, that does include the guy that has been
- liking your posts/story
- dropping “hints/signs”
- hitting you up in the middle of the night
- telling you he’s not talking to anyone else
If he’s not making it as clear as day, then that’s your answer.
Why is he ignoring me?
Not that deep down inside, you know why he’s ignoring you. You just don’t want to admit it, and that’s okay…kind of.
Eventually you have to come to the realization that the reason why he’s ignoring you is one, or more, of the following.
1. You’re not on his list of priorities
If you did make the list, you wouldn’t be researching “why is he ignoring me all of a sudden?”. You also can’t force your way onto the list either.
Think about your own list of priorities. It’s more than likely set, and the only reason why it would change is if some drastic event happened in life. Such as, you getting pregnant.
Some random person, who you don’t even know, is not going to automatically move to the top of your list just because they want to get to know you. It just doesn’t work that way.
I know some of you are still probably going to wonder “how can I get on his list of priorities” and ironic as it may be the answer is to focus on yourself.
Now, this still isn’t going to guarantee that this will catch his attention, but it will make it more likely.
Why? Because when you prioritize what’s best for you, you attract what’s best for you. Come up with your own list of priorities, actually stick with them, practice self-care, and the person who is meant for you will find you.
Even if it doesn’t wind up being the person in mind, it’s still a win-win for you.
2. They’re waiting to respond when it benefits them
Without all those feelings involved, it’s really easy to spot when someone is using you for their own benefit. But, when you do have feelings for someone, it’s harder to tell. Or maybe it’s harder to admit it. Who knows?
Regardless, the proof is always in the pudding.
- If he’s waiting all day to answer you and then finally comes around once the sun goes down… he’s probably looking for something really specific that doesn’t involve your personality
- If he hasn’t responded to you up until you can help him with something… he’s using your readily available services
- And my personal favorite, when he hasn’t answered you in days and hits you up with the “wyd”… he’s bored, and you were the next best thing that would answer
The issue here isn’t that he’s using you; it’s that you’re letting him use you, and probably for free.
3. He’s not interested in you, at all
It stings, but some of you reading this fall into this category whether you like it or not. This is especially true if he’s told you where you stand in his life and you still keep pushing for what you want to hear.
If he says things such as
- My work/education is more important to me right now
- I’m too busy for a relationship/something serious
- Nothing at all (aka he hasn’t even given you the time of day from the beginning)
then chances are he’s just not into you.
If he wanted to make it work, he would. But he hasn’t because he doesn’t want you. The sooner you accept this, the sooner you can move on from this and actually be with someone who gives you everything you deserve and then some.
4. He genuinely didn’t see it
“It” means either your text, call, or the fact that you even liked him.
However, this is the LEAST likely reason out of all of them, and I really need you to grasp that.
Don’t keep giving someone the benefit of the doubt when they keep showing you who they are time and time again. You will lose yourself in the process. I only included this considering the off chance that it could be true.
If you think it is true, then put yourself out there for real this time and see what comes of it. The worst that could happen is that the person that isn’t meant for you, tells you no.
Why I learned to love being ignored
1. It takes the guesswork out of the equation
You have a front row seat on who this person is (we’ll get more into that in the next section) and what they think of you.
All of those questions that swirl in your mind are answered with this one simple action.
- Is he thinking about me? Probably not
- Who is he with? Not you
- What is he doing right now? Ignoring you
- Does he like me back? Negative
You know where he stands with you because the silence speaks for itself. It’s now up to you to accept that someone who is worth your time wouldn’t dare leave you hanging or think it’s okay to just completely put you to the side.
2. It reveals more than what they realize
I don’t know you, the person who is ignoring you, or the circumstances. What I do know is that almost every time someone treats you like you’re less than is because they have an abnormally large ego, someone else did it to them, or a combination of the two.
Think about it.
If you’re a decent human who has at least a little bit of compassion, you’re not going to leave someone hanging, even if the feelings aren’t mutual. Unless they keep hitting you up after you’ve already made it clear you don’t like them like that.
Anyone who thinks it’s okay to blatantly ignore someone who has reached out to them is probably a hurt human. And no this isn’t your time to shine and come in and make them a better person because the chances of you actually being able to inspire them to change are slim to none.
3. My time isn’t being wasted
I absolutely HATE when my time has been wasted and you should too.
It’s the one thing you can’t replace in life, once it’s gone it’s gone. I would much rather know upfront that the feelings aren’t mutual rather than being led on for months, sometimes years, just to find out they were using me the whole time.
I’ll be damned if I stick around with a POS for 5+ years just to realize he didn’t bring out the best in me, treats me horribly, and doesn’t value me. That is a gut-wrenching feeling that I wouldn’t want anyone to have to experience.
Don’t put yourself in that situation. If you know from the beginning that he’s not going to treat you the way you deserve, move on.
4. It gives you the upper hand
As odd as it may seem, you now have to upper hand in this situation. Not only do you have immediate insight into who this person is, but you can also return the favor once (or if) he does come back around.
You can either ignore him for an extended period of time (this will definitely sting if he needed you for something), agree to meeting up with him just to leave him high and dry, place him on your roster (if you have one), or put him on the shelf and wait until you can benefit from him.
Just remember that if he started off ignoring you, chances are he didn’t care in the first place meaning your silence is going to mean way less to him as it did to you. That’s why I would avoid the back and forth all together because you’re only bothering yourself in the end.
I wanted to include this because I know it’s very tempting to retaliate; however, I do NOT recommend taking this route. But you do you.
5. It builds a backbone
You’ve been rejected. Congratulations!
You can now move onto something that is better aligned with you. Put your big girl panties on, deal with your emotions, and keep moving forward. You’re not going to get every single thing you want in life, and even if you did you wouldn’t be able to enjoy it.
Look at this as an opportunity for growth rather than a pity party. They didn’t want you back. Now what?
Are you going to wallow in your own misery or maintain your standards and get what you truly deserve?