29 Red Flags In Men You Need To Watch Out For (According To Men) -

Don’t know if he’s the right one for you? Concerned about falling for another a-hole?

Well, you’ve come to the right place.

I’ve compiled a list of the most important red flags in men to look out for, especially number 6.

Like most of you, I’ve run across my fair share of crappy guys, and boy let me tell you…it sucks.

Not only are they wasting your time, but they’re also draining your energy and probably causing you to have new complexes and insecurities you’ve never had before.

But not today Satan.

We are going to just completely bypass that, by learning what to look out for. So without further ado, welcome to the worst qualities to look out for in men!

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Red Flags In Men

1. He’s The “Nice Guy” No One Wanted

Someone who is actually nice and someone who claims they’re the “nice guy” can be two different things.

You will know when someone is actually nice through their actions, not their words.

If he genuinely has a kind heart he won’t need to tell you because you will see it through his actions.

A lot of “nice guys” are guys who didn’t fit into the mold and have gotten rejected by someone else so they made their whole persona about them being the “nice guy”.

But in reality, there’s a chance he’s just as much of an asshole as the “not-so-nice guy”.

I’m not saying to avoid someone who is genuinely nice, but there is a difference between someone who is kind at their core and someone who claims they’re the nice guy.

2. Always Wants To Hang Out At Night (Unless You Want This Dynamic)

If he only wants to hang out after the sun goes down, cut your losses.

This just means that he is more than likely there for one thing and one thing only and it rhymes with rex.

3. Inconsistency

Inconsistency could look like:

Not answering texts/calls
- He takes a million years to get back to you, constantly. If he’s taking a while to respond because he’s at work or hanging out with his family that’s one thing but if he’s always taking a while to respond, then that’s a red flag.

Read More: Why Is He Ignoring Me?

Flaking or canceling plans a lot
- Every time y’all have something planned, something winds up coming up. Or, you guys have your first date planned, and he magically had something come up. Big no no.
- If you feel like this is an off chance and you want to give him the benefit of the doubt, then by all means please do. But, if he does this a lot, I wouldn’t keep giving him the benefit of the doubt. That typically means he doesn’t respect you or your time.

Says one thing and does another
- This could be him flat-out lying or it could be him saying he’s going to do something and then doesn’t.

4. Slightly Insults You

If someone is giving you backhanded compliments or is blatantly insulting you, then that’s a red flag in men.

A little teasing or poking fun at each other is one thing, but to be insulting you is another.

What’s the difference?

If you guys are already going back and forth messing with each other, then that’s okay (as long as it’s not hurting your feelings). If he’s saying things that hurt your feelings, then that’s not okay.

What if he didn’t mean to hurt my feelings? Then that’s great, but you should communicate that to him and say something like “Hey that hurt my feelings I don’t like when you comment on ____.”

If he respects what you say and acts accordingly, then great. If he doesn’t respect what you say and keeps doing it, to the trash he goes.

Your man should be complimenting you and saying things that uplift you, not bring you down.

Biggest Red Flags In Men

Now that we’ve gone over some general red flags in men, let’s go over major red flags for men.

What’s the difference? General red flags are more of a “walk away” if you see these and major red flags are a “runaway” if you see these.

5. Has A Bad Temper

If you notice that he has a bad temper, you need to RUN quick, fast, and in a hurry. Having a temper can look like:

Throwing things
Hitting objects
Random and inappropriate outbursts
Getting upset at things that are pretty minor (you dropped something)
Difficulty controlling his anger
Holes in drywall

No, you will not be the person to save him. No, you will not be the person to fix him. And no, you will not be the person who inspires him to do better.

Just leave. Let that be someone else’s problem (hopefully a therapist).

6. Controlling

This is one of the biggest red flags for men on this list.

If he is controlling, then please do yourself a favor and leave because this is only going to get progressively worse over time.

Usually, the control starts off small and can even seem appealing at first because it can make you feel valued, protected, or cherished.

However, it can quickly take a dark turn as that person starts to tighten their grip through time.

Someone being controlling can look like:

Isolation
Possessiveness
Extreme jealousy
Overly criticizing
Manipulation (guilt tripping and gas-lighting)
Ignoring boundaries

If you or someone you love is in this situation and needs to talk to someone or is scared to leave, please reach out to a hotline near you.

You can also reach out to the hotline if you need advice on how to help your loved one in this situation as well.

In the US, The National Domestic Violence Hotline number is 800-799-7233 and runs 24/7. If you need more resources, check out domesticshelters.org.

7. Refuses To Be Out In Public

Another red flag in a guy is that he refuses to be out in public with you. This could mean a few things.

One, he’s only there for the thing that rhymes with rex.

Two, he’s having an affair and literally can’t be seen with you.

Three, he’s embarrassed by you.

Either way, it’s not good, and if it does happen to be the third reason then I want to tell you something.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. If someone feels like they don’t want to be seen in public with you because they’re so caught up in what everyone else is thinking then that is a them problem not a you problem.

8. Makes Everything Sexual

When someone makes everything sexual then that is a clear sign of immaturity.

It’s one thing if you guys are talking about things of that nature but it’s another thing when he’s constantly making inappropriate jokes and saying inappropriate things at inappropriate times.

Unless you want to be with someone whose only personality trait is being over-sexual, I suggest you start moving in the other direction and delete that man’s number.

9. You Get The “But I Can Fix Him” or “Things Will Get Better” Urge

As soon as you get this urge, and I mean as soon as you get it, run.

That is your body’s way of telling you there is something off with this guy enough to where it’s making you want to fix it, and just to reiterate it again: no you cannot fix him.

I don’t care whether you’re the greatest therapist in the world. You cannot fix someone who doesn’t already want that for themself, and you cannot inspire someone to want to change either.

It has to completely come from within them.

And besides, when you meet your soulmate, you won’t have the urge to have to fix something in him.

You guys will just naturally click, and if/when you do come across something you don’t like about him, you won’t want to “fix” it.

You will first probably get annoyed but then you will want to work on it together and come to a compromise.

10. Secretive and/or Evasive About His Information

Another huge red flag in men is if he is secretive about everything.

If he won’t tell you things like his full name, where he’s from, what his childhood was like, his family situation, etc then there’s a reason for it.

Someone is not just going to hide information for no reason.

If this is the case for you, my best suggestion is don’t stay around long enough to find out why he’s being so evasive or secretive. It’s probably not a good reason.

11. Forces Affection

When someone is forcing affection on you that usually means they don’t respect you or your space because if they did they wouldn’t be forcing. They would be asking you.

If you say no and they keep doing something, that’s a problem. If you’ve communicated you don’t like something and they keep doing it, that’s a problem.

Look at it this way, would you force affection onto someone else after they’ve made it clear they don’t want it? And why not?

Well, then there you go.

12. All Of His Exes Are “Crazy”

The last but not least huge red flag in men is if he says all of his exes are crazy.

Let’s think about this for a second, what are the chances that every single one of his exes is truly crazy? Pretty low, right?

And even if that were true, what is within him to be attracting all of these crazy people into his life? And to take it a step further, who is the real common denominator?

If someone says that every single one of their exes is crazy that simply means that they themselves are crazy. Case closed.

Dating Red Flags In A Man

Here are some of the biggest red flags in men to look out for while you’re on the dating scene.

13. He’s Not Interested In What You Have To Say At All

You can tell when someone is not interested in what you have to say because they either don’t ask any questions, only talk about themselves, or both.

Usually, the conversation is super dry and you feel like you’re pulling teeth. This is a bad sign, my friend.

He probably doesn’t care too much about what you have to say (let alone how you feel).

14. He Cuts You Off…A Lot

And while we’re on the subject of him not caring about what you have to say, another red flag for guys is if he cuts you off a lot, like almost every time you talk.

Now, I understand if someone is excited in a conversation and they just want to blurt out what’s on their mind before they forget. I personally have a bad habit of doing this and tend to do this a lot, but you know what else I do?

I apologize and remind myself to wait my turn if I’m interrupting someone. I also try to keep this at a minimum.

If he is constantly interrupting you and isn’t even trying to stop, then I suggest reconsidering your date and trying to find someone who actually wants to hear what you have to say.

You deserve to have someone who wants to hear what you have to say, not someone who thinks they know everything.

15. He Has Some Sort Of Addiction and/or Bad Habit

This didn’t make the huge red flags in men list because it isn’t as clear-cut as the other ones.

Many people struggle with an addiction to something, especially in today’s time where mind-numbing activities are considered the norm.

Now, does that mean that just because it’s normal that makes it right? No.

If you want to be with someone who:

Prioritizes their health
Is serious about life
Is disciplined and ambitious

Then I don’t think you should try to start a relationship with someone who is addicted to something.

Does that automatically mean that it wouldn’t work out? No.

Does that mean that they couldn’t eventually overcome the bad habit/addiction? No.

But it does mean that it does make it a bit more difficult because a bad habit is a bad habit. It doesn’t matter how you try to spin it.

When you have a bad habit or addiction, it will set you back.

There’s no other way around it. That’s why I think if you notice someone has an addiction to something, you should probably steer clear.

However, if you think that person is worth your time, then you ultimately have to make the decision that best suits your life.

16. Shows Signs Of Recklessness

Another red flag in men is if they appear to be reckless. Think things like:

Doesn’t care about any rules or laws
Ignores all consequences
Putting themselves or others at risk

Again, if you get that “I can fix him” urge please kindly remind yourself that you are not a therapist and even the best therapist cannot fix someone.

They have to want to fix themselves, and that’s that.

You cannot fix someone. You cannot change someone. You can only fix or change yourself.

Please don’t think you can change a man because you just can’t.

17. His Attitude Sucks

If his attitude sucks, then just toss him right where his attitude belongs, the trash.

Pay attention to the way he speaks to:

You
“Lower tier” jobs (I don’t believe in this hierarchy because a job is a job, in my opinion, but some people do believe in this hierarchy so just pay attention to the way he speaks to waitresses, janitors, housekeepers, etc)
His mom
Other “unattractive” women or men

And also pay attention to the way he speaks to you in comparison to his friends. Is he more snippy and agitated with you, but he’s more light and easy with his friends?

Or is he more focused and attentive with you, than he is with his friends (this is a good sign)?

Also, pay attention to the way he speaks about other people when they’re not around and his overall attitude about life.

If it’s more negative and nasty, then don’t waste your time.

You’re too beautiful for that negative nasty energy.

18. Bails On You

This is one of the red flags in men that could be a no-brainer, but at the same time when you really like a guy sometimes you can make a bunch of excuses for him when he does dumb/hurtful things.

If a guy bails on you, now is not the time to make excuses for him.

Now is the time for you to delete his number, block him on everything, and move right along to the next suitor.

Please, please, please don’t waste your time with someone who bails on you.

Some of you might be asking, “But what if he has a genuine excuse?”

And my answer to that is, he very well may have a genuine excuse, but if it is real, he’d better be apologizing and making it up to you in some way, ESPECIALLY if it was y’alls first date.

If he bails on you and doesn’t really give a damn, to the trash he goes. No questions asked.

19. Brags A Lot

The last but not least dating red flags in a man is if he brags a lot. I might be a bit biased on this one because this is a pet peeve of mine; I can’t stand when someone brags all the time.

Gahhhh, it drives me crazy!

There are so many other things you could be talking about but all you want to discuss are:

Your accomplishments
What you can do
What you have done
What you have

Don’t get me wrong, those can be some great conversations, but every single time? No.

And we all know someone who cycles through those 4 conversation topics, and that’s it. They don’t talk about anything or anyone else. Boring.

Red Flags In A Relationship

Before we get into red flags in a relationship, I want to remind you of something.

You are allowed to change your mind.

Just because you started a relationship with someone, that doesn’t mean you need to see it all the way through.

If at any point you decide this person isn’t a right fit for you anymore, you have the right to leave them and find someone who is a better fit.

You do NOT need to stick around for someone just because you feel bad or don’t want to hurt them because, in the end, you’ll just be hurting yourself.

If you notice that someone isn’t who they said they were or is changing in a different direction than you, then you have the right to move on.

With that being said, here are some things I would look out for in a relationship.

20. Is Never Wrong and Can Never Be Wrong

You do not want to be with someone who is never wrong and can never be wrong because that leaves absolutely no room for growth.

The only way for you to grow is to see what you’re doing wrong and give yourself room to fix it.

But, if you’re always right in your head, then how can you ever see what you’re doing wrong?

You can’t.

And that, my friend, makes for a terrible life partner.

Unless you want to be with someone where they do all the thinking, decision-making, and opinion-forming, then I don’t suggest sticking around with someone like this.

21. Lacks Effort

He started out doing the nice things:

Buying you flowers
Opening your doors
Complimenting you
Planning dates

But you’re X amount of time into the relationship and he stopped.

No, no, no. That’s not gonna cut it.

A relationship takes two and romance takes two.

Romance, intimacy, communication, and fun can’t just be on one person, and if it is on one person then that one person might as well be single.

You deserve to be with someone who puts in the effort, not someone who just sits around and waits for you to do everything.

22. His Friends Are Trash/Going Nowhere In Life

If you notice that his friends are lazy, uninspiring, unmotivating, boring, and going nowhere in life, then chances are your boyfriend is the same.

You are who you hang around.

Unless you want to be with someone like this, then I suggest moving on.

23. Does Not Respect Your Boundaries or “No’s”

This red flag can be a given but it can also be easy to excuse, especially when you’re in love.

If you notice that someone is not respecting your “no’s”, then it’s time to dip like a chip because there is absolutely no reason for someone to ignore you saying “no”.

No reason at all.

When someone says “no”, that’s it. It’s one of the most universal words in the world and it’s only two letters so it’s not that hard to comprehend.

If he’s ignoring it, then that simply means he doesn’t really care about what you think/feel and it’s all about what he thinks/feels. And that ain’t gonna fly over here.

To the trash.

24. Lies About Dumb Small Stuff (At First)

I put “at first” in parenthesis because usually when people lie about small things, that typically leads to lying about major things.

If someone is lying about something small and silly, then just let them go.

Honesty is a very important thing to have in a relationship and you can’t have honesty when all he wants to do is lie, especially if it’s for no real reason.

In my opinion, there’s no good reason to lie, but there are some reasons that are better than others such as protecting a loved one’s privacy or protecting someone’s feelings.

25. Lacks Practical Daily Life Skills

One of the red flags in men that kind of go unnoticed or un-talked about is lacking daily life skills. Things such as:

Cooking
Fixing cars
Saving money
Building something
Cleaning

He needs to have at least one of those things, and if he doesn’t then he probably doesn’t take care of himself and expects someone else to do it for him.

And if you decide to stay with him, that someone will be you.

26. Asks To Move In Too Quickly

If he’s asking to move in a month into y’alls relationship, we have a problem Houston.

That either means:

He’s broke
He’s irresponsible
Doesn’t like to work
All of the above

And he’s probably going to use you as a solution to one, or all, of those issues. Don’t fall for that mess.

The rule of thumb here is: wait at least 6 months to move in together. I recommend 1 year, but if you feel like you can’t wait at all, at least wait 6 months.

27. Describes Their Ex In A Negative Light Only

This is another one of the red flags in men that isn’t necessarily clear cut because he really could have a crazy ex who has done all the things he’s said she’s done but here’s the thing.

One, that would mean that he himself has something within him that aligns with a crazy person because in order for you to be with someone you have to be aligned in some way, shape, or form.

And two, you put yourself at risk to be dealing with some crazy person who feels like they own another human being and they can’t let that person go.

I know I don’t want that, and I’m sure you don’t want to deal with that either.

Now, let’s come back to the more likely reason why he’s describing his ex only in a negative light; it’s probably because he has a difficult time taking responsibility for anything he’s done and being accountable.

This does not make for a good boyfriend let alone a life partner, so I recommend just leaving this person wherever you found them and letting them add another “crazy” person to their story that they’ll sell to the next girl they find.

28. Doesn’t Compromise At All

If he can’t compromise, then this isn’t going to work.

Relationships take compromising, all relationships. Even the relationships with your family members or coworkers require compromise.

How can you build a life with someone where all they want and think about is themself?

How can you build a life with someone who never wants to consider what you want?

29. Only Talks About How Attracted He Is To You (And Nothing Else)

It’s one thing if he’s genuinely complimenting you every day because he loves you, the way you look, and/or he loves making you feel good.

It’s another thing if that’s all he can ever talk about.

For example, you guys are talking about what you want out of life and the only thing he can say is how beautiful you are.

Or, if you guys are talking about something random like the weather and suddenly he’s swooning over you.

That kind of thing gets annoying and boring after a while, and it probably means that he’s either obsessed with you or only values your outer appearance.

Conclusion On Red Flags In Men

So there you have it, all of the red flags in men, in one list. If he has at least 3 of the qualities from this list RUN.

Don’t waste your time on someone where you have to mold them into what you like.

It’s one thing to have to compromise as a couple but it’s another thing where you have to change almost everything about him.

And before you even ask, “Is there anyone out there who is aligned with me?” The answer is yes!

There are 8,000,000,000,000 people in this world. At least one of them aligns with you almost perfectly.

Don’t question it either. He exists. Trust me.

Don’t waste your (precious) time with someone who makes you feel uncomfortable and unsafe. You deserve more than that, a lot more than that.

All in all, I hope this guide was able to help you now and many many times over in the future.

Which red flags for men do you think are the worst? Which red flags did you think I missed?

Comment down below to let me know.

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