Last updated on October 24th, 2023 at 03:18 pm
Oftentimes we focus on the red flags of a friendship but we rarely talk about the green flags of a friend. It can be discouraging when you keep finding yourself in toxic friendships, trust me I know!
The more you come across toxic friends, the more you start to wonder, are there any real people out there? And if so, what does a good friend even look like?
Well, my friend, I have good news for you!
- There are plenty of real friends out there waiting for you and 2. I have compiled a list of the most important friendship green flags to look for, so you can weed out the bad friends and find the good ones.
So with that being said, let’s get straight into it!
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15 Green Flags Of A Friend
1. They Avoid Speaking Negatively About Others
One of the first green flags of a friend is that they don’t speak negatively about others.
I know it may be tempting to complain about our fellow coworkers or boss, but here’s the thing, we’re not attracting people in our life who take the easy route.
We want to attract people who choose good habits and inspire us to do the same. And avoiding talking crap about other people is a great place to start.
Besides, when you find that someone always speaks negatively about others, chances are they’re going to do the same thing to you.
2. They Don’t Take Themselves Too Seriously
Another green flags in friendship is that they don’t take themself too seriously. They don’t mind looking “stupid” or “silly”. This is a good indicator that this person may be a good friend.
We all will eventually be new at something and may look a bit silly while doing it, and when that time arises, you don’t want to find yourself surrounded by people who are judgmental and afraid to look dumb.
You want to be surrounded by people who are not afraid to learn something new or even let loose every once in a while.
Life is too short to take yourself seriously 24/7. Loosen up a bit.
3. They Have A Healthy Sense Of Humor
Speaking of being able to loosen up, another important green flags of a friend is a healthy sense of humor.
Who wants to be surrounded by people who never laugh? Not me!
We can all think of that one person who is constantly negative. They always bring up negative news, or they only see the bad in any given situation no matter what the situation may be.
Let me tell you, my friend, it is not productive to be around someone like this.
They are only going to bring you down. And if you think to yourself, “Well maybe my good energy can rub off on them” think again. You cannot change someone who doesn’t want to change themselves. Don’t waste your time on a negative nelly.
Surround yourself with people who not only want to see the bright side of things but also find a way to laugh about life in the end. It makes life better when you have someone to laugh with anyway.
4. They’re Not Afraid To Smile/Laugh
A wise man once said, “A smile costs nothing but gives so much. It enriches those who receive without making poorer those who give. It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.” – Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People
Smiling goes a long way, so it’s best to surround yourself with people who love to smile. These will be the same people who will be there for you in your darkest moments or give you a burst of happiness on your down days.
5. They’re Optimistic
We all know that one pessimistic person who just drags the mood down. That’s not to say they’re a bad person or bad company, but I mean they’re not good company either when you really think about it.
Having optimistic friends is important because stuff happens in life.
We all have our ups and downs. And when we go through those good times you don’t need to be surrounded by people who bring the mood down or are even jealous of your accomplishments.
And when we go through those bad times, we also don’t need someone to add to our negative feelings. Just cut the pessimistic patty out altogether.
Life is too short to be counting your sorrows. Stick with people who see the cup as half full not half empty.
6. They’re Considerate
A very important green flags of a friend is that they’re considerate of other people’s time and feelings.
This is important because when you find yourself surrounded by friends who only care about themselves one of a few things will happen:
- You will find yourself depleted of all of your time, energy, and resources
- You may find yourself having been used or manipulated
- Their negative consequences may directly affect you and/or your reputation
Don’t waste your time, and maybe even resources, with people who don’t care about you or anyone else. It’s not worth it.
If you find yourself in this situation, do yourself a favor and move on from the friendship.
7. They Help Others
When you come across someone who is willing to help someone else out, even when they don’t benefit from it, that’s how you know you’ve come across a real gem in life.
It takes a special person to be able to give and not expect a single thing in return. We need more people like that in this world.
To those of you who have a giving heart, I am truly truly grateful and inspired by you. Thank you for being such a light in this world and don’t ever let anyone dim it.
8. They Don’t Overstep Your Boundaries
Sometimes this can be a bit tricky because you don’t know what someone’s boundary is until it’s been overstepped, either by you or someone else.
But the rule of thumb here is that once that boundary has been crossed, and that person is genuinely sorry and doesn’t do it again, you know they’re a keeper.
If that line gets crossed and they don’t care or act like you’re the issue, to the trash they go.
9. They Can Admit That They’re Wrong
Another huge green flags in friendship is when they can admit when they’re wrong. And to take it a step further, not only can they admit when they’re wrong, but they apologize for it too.
It takes a very mature person to be able to do that, and that’s the type of people we want in our lives. The kind of people who are willing to grow and change as life goes on.
It can be very annoying to be around someone who can do no wrong. If you have someone like this in your life right now, then you know what I’m talking about.
And if you find yourself making excuses for that person over and over again, let me warn you about something. There is going to come a day when that person has done you wrong, and I promise you, you are going to get the same treatment that they give everyone else.
You can’t reason with someone who thinks they do no wrong. The best thing you can do is move on from them, and this goes for both a romantic and platonic relationship.
10. They Know There’s A Time And Place For Everything
These are the best kinds of friends to have in life because you can literally invite them anywhere: out to a party on Saturday, church on Sunday, and a family event that Sunday evening.
It’s okay to be mature sometimes and it’s okay to be immature sometimes, but it’s not okay to not know when and where to do those things.
It’s not wise to be around someone who doesn’t know the difference or is too much of one or the other because they will either be a drag, annoying, or both.
Find someone with a healthy balance and maintain that balance within yourself as well.
11. They Take Initiative For The Things They Care About
I used to have a childhood friend since kindergarten. When we went to high school, we would do almost everything together. We were a part of each other’s lives for a very long time.
But, in all the great moments we had, there was always something that really bothered me. She would always leave it up to me to ask to hang out.
Now, that may sound minor, in the beginning, but after a while (and I’m talking a few years) I started to realize she would never ask to hang out.
That made me wonder, does she even want to hang out with me at all? Well, I asked her myself, and she responded with “Of course not! I love hanging out and spending time with you.” So, I thought to myself, “Okay great! We’re all good then” right? Wrong!
While I loved my friend so much there were 2 issues with this:
- Everything was always left up to me, so I never had the opportunity to be easygoing because everything was always left up to me. That gets old after a while.
- I started to realize that if she’s not willing to take the initiative with something as minor as this, chances are she’s not willing to take the initiative with anything else in life. The way you are with anything is the way you are with everything.
You may be wondering, “Is her not asking to hang out really that bad enough to remove her from your life?”
And I will answer that question with a question, why would I spend my time with someone who is willing to sit around and wait for things to be handed to her when I could spend my time with go-getters?
I want you to think about the group of people you hang out with right now.
Do you surround yourself with people who settle or do you surround yourself with people who work and sacrifice for their dreams?
12. They Inspire You
Another really good green flags of a friend is that they inspire and motivate you.
This doesn’t always have to be along the lines of finances. People can inspire you to do many amazing things outside of money, such as:
- Giving back to your community
- Being kinder to your loved ones
- Living a healthier lifestyle
- Leading a happier lifestyle
- Make better decisions
I highly suggest you surround yourself with people who show you that your dreams are 100% attainable. Spend time with people who:
- Ignite that fire within you
- Hold you to a high standard (within reason of course)
- Push you to be the best version of yourself
- Hold you accountable
- Don’t settle for anything
Those are your true friends. And I promise you, when you surround yourself with friends like that, your life will completely change for the better.
13. They Don’t Pile All Of Their Issues Onto You
Many of you know who I’m talking about. That one person who just unloads all of their life troubles onto you, out of nowhere.
It doesn’t matter what you have going on, and as a matter of fact, they never even bother to ask.
And if they do happen to ask how you’re doing (which I’m sure they won’t), it will probably be one of the quickest conversations you’ve ever had.
Don’t waste your time with people like this. This is probably one of the biggest red flags in a person on this list.
Stay away from people like this, the kind of people who genuinely believe the sun rises and sets on them. There will be no good to come from it. Just leave them and their drama right where you found it, you’ll thank yourself later (probably sooner than later).
14. They’re Committed To Growth
This is one of the awesome green flags of a friend that is very hard to come by!
Get you the kind of friend who doesn’t want to settle and stay in the same place for the next 5 years, whether that be related to a job, location, or mindset.
They’re always willing and committed to grow, even through the rough times.
Having people like this in your corner is priceless because they will naturally inspire you to do the same and push you to your greatest potential.
Life is all about change, so it’s so much better to have people around you who embrace change rather than fight it.
15. They’re Confident In Themselves
The last important green flags of a friend to make this list is if they’re confident in both themselves and their abilities.
Not cocky or arrogant, confident.
It’s important to surround yourself with at least a few confident friends because what’s going to happen is that good juju is going to rub off on you.
I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “If you surround yourself with 6 broke men you’ll be the 7th.”
The same thing applies in terms of good traits such as confidence. You want to be around people who know who they are, what they bring to the table, and their impact on this world.
And they don’t heavily rely on the opinion of others to determine their next move because they ultimately trust themselves.
Conclusion On Green Flags Of A Friend
Trying to find a good friend in this world can seem impossible. Every time you try to make a new friend, the other shoe always drops and you realize they’re not good for you.
But here’s the thing, it doesn’t have to be that way.
When you look out for these important green flags of a friend you will have a better idea of who to make time for and who to move on from.
Don’t let the discouraging moments discourage you altogether. There are still plenty of amazing people out there, and when you use this list of friendship green flags, you get closer and closer to who’s truly meant to be in your life!
As always, I appreciate you for taking the time to read this article. Until next time, my friend!
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This was such a refreshing piece. Most people don’t talk about the “Green Flags” when it comes to a friend, family, or significant other. The “Red Flags” are important to know, but I feel “Green Flags” help you read a person from the very first conversation. You’ll be able to see if their a real, genuine, and caring person or just unsure of themselves
Exactly! And I want to note that it’s okay if someone is unsure of themselves. That doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a red flag, but it also might not be someone you want to bring into your life either, which is totally fine! What’s most important is what you said, getting a good read of a person and making sure you’re surrounding yourself with real, genuine people. Thank you for reading!