Learning how to carry yourself with confidence can be overwhelming; that is, until you find the clear straightforward answer.
Carrying yourself with confidence can seem like a far-fetched idea on the outside of things. You look at confident people and think to yourself, “I will never be like that”. But I have good news for you, my friend.
Not only is that 100% possible for you too, but you’ve also already accomplished half the battle by taking the initiative to find some answers.
Follow along with my exclusive list of 21 habits of a confident person to finally be free from people taking advantage of and running all over you and make a true change in your life.
Advantages of Self-Confidence
Self-confidence is the concept of feeling secure in who you are, what you’re good at, what you’re bad at, and how the world perceives you, regardless of what others think or say.
It’s not clothes, shoes, money, or even a flashy lifestyle; it’s a mental state.
Having confidence in yourself is an extremely valuable skill because when you have mastered the art of not giving a f about what people think, you have essentially mastered the art of living your best life.
Allowing other people’s opinions to swirl in your mind consistently dampens your greatness. That’s why learning how to carry yourself with confidence can be one of the best things you do for yourself!
Some of the best advantages of self-confidence include:
- Not feeling as frustrated with yourself or in general
- Don’t live with the heavy weight of people’s opinions
- Live a life of true freedom and on your terms
- Are better able to show up for yourself and those around you
- Can stick up for other people when needed
- Wearing whatever makes you truly feel awesome
- Feel more productive
- Spend more time creating/building and less time judging
- Helps you not criticize yourself and those around you
- Inspire other people in countless ways
How To Carry Yourself With Confidence
- Give Compliments Freely
Confident people don’t have any issues saying something positive about those around them.
Why is that?
Because when you’re secure in who you are and genuinely love yourself, you have more than enough love to go around the table.
The general rule of thumb is:
- If you think something positive about someone else, say it out loud.
- If you think something negative about someone else, keep it in your head.
- Respect Your Boundaries
Make a T-chart of what you’re okay with on one side and what you’re not on the other side. The line in the middle is your boundary.
- I’m okay when people comment on my outfit but not my weight
- I like it when we talk about our dreams, but I don’t like it when we talk about other people
- I’m comfortable with going out with my friends, but I’m not comfortable with drinking in public
You must know your boundaries as a confident person because there are people out there who are just waiting for the next person to come along so they can walk all over them.
Avoid this completely by taking 5 minutes of your day to learn what your boundaries are.
- Take Care Of Yourself
- Keep your nails filed, your hair washed, and your teeth brushed.
- Keep your clothes clean and free of wrinkles.
- Don’t with bad breath, dirty nails, and unkempt clothes.
Learning how to carry yourself with confidence requires you to take care of yourself both on the inside and outside.
- Filter Your Thoughts
When you have negative thoughts (which you will), challenge them.
I don’t look good today.
- Why don’t you look good?
- What can you change right now to make you feel good?
- Who has told you that?
- Do they even look good?
I can’t _(insert something you think you can’t do)____.
- If someone else has done it, then why can’t you?
- If you can do all of the other “impossible” accomplishments you’ve done in the past, then you can do this.
Your negative thoughts are weak. Your positive thoughts are extremely powerful.
- Don’t Attempt To Make Other People Feel Bad About Themselves
You NEVER look good while trying to make someone else look bad.
- Speak Up
When you’re speaking, say it with your chest. That doesn’t mean you have to yell or be loud but be here. Let the people know what you have to say because it’s important. And if they don’t think it’s important, then that’s on them.
You can’t please everyone, so the least you can do is please yourself.
- Wear Clothes That Make You Feel Good
You’re going to triple your self-confidence when you do this because when you look good you feel good, and when you feel good you perform good, and when you perform good everyone will be amazed (as they should be).
- Show Gratitude
This is one of the most subtle signs of a confident woman.
- Tell your people you love them.
- Tell whoever had a big part in raising you how much you appreciate them.
- Tell the chef at the restaurant that the biscuits are good. (I actually did this one time at Red Lobster, and they sent me a free bag of 12 biscuits!)
- Tell people that you’re grateful for them.
Not only does finding things to be grateful for feel good it also looks good!
- Strong Eye Contact
Good eye contact shows people that you’re listening and they have your attention. It’s hard to look confident when you:
- Keep looking at the ground
- Keep looking elsewhere
- Look off as if you’re not even present in the conversation (rude!)
If you don’t know where to look I suggest:
- Looking at only one eye
- Look in between their eyes
- Switch between the left and right in a natural way
- When You’re Walking Take In Your Surroundings
Stop walking around with your head down to the floor, man. I mean, what are you trying to signal to the world?
You’re too amazing of a person to be walking around with your eyes glued to the floor. Keep your head up, take in your surroundings, and walk like someone just told you that you won $1 million.
Stop just looking at the floor. It’s just a floor; there’s not much really going on down there anyway.
- When You Do Get Nervous…
I can’t just tell you how to carry yourself with confidence without telling you what to do when you get nervous.
- Take 3 deep breaths. I recommend doing more than 3, but I say 3 to start with because it’s easier to commit to.
- Remind yourself of a time you’ve been successful in the past. (Shout out to Shawn Achor)
- Tell yourself “I’ve got this.”
- Stop thinking so much and just go for it. What’s the best that could happen?
Confident women, and people in general, listen.
Don’t just stand there and go off in your head about something unrelated to the conversation. Be in the present moment. Give that person your attention, you may learn something valuable.
You have a beautiful smile; you should use it more often. Besides, you never know who needs your positive energy that day.
“It takes a second to give, but its memory can last a lifetime. It costs nothing, but it creates a lot.” – Dale Carnegie
- Shoulders Back
Remember how I said to stop looking at the floor? Put those shoulders back while you’re at it.
Don’t slouch, don’t look at the floor, and don’t be all sluggish. Don’t go walking around with your chest puffed out either, be natural.
If you want to carry yourself with confidence, then present yourself like the confident person you are. And if you don’t feel confident yet, that’s okay, you will get there.
Just because it hasn’t happened yet, doesn’t mean it won’t happen.
- Chin Parallel To The Floor
Oh, and keep your chin parallel to the floor. It looks better, and remember if you look better, you’ll feel better.
- Get Rid Of Words Like “Just”
- Kind of
Trash them; they make you look incompetent. I don’t make the rules.
When you do feel the urge to say them, just take a moment to think. Silence looks better than saying a bunch of filler words.
- Stop Saying Sorry All The Time
Why are you saying sorry when you have nothing to be sorry for?
This is a bad habit I used to deal with, so trust me when I say I understand where you’re coming from and why you do it.
But there is a better way to be polite. You don’t need to constantly apologize to be considered polite.
Save saying sorry for when you actually have something to be sorry about. Things like:
- Saying something rude
- Accidentally stealing a fork from someone’s house (oops)
- Stepping on someone’s new white shoes
- Accidentally telling someone’s secret because you were too excited and started talking all over yourself
These kinds of things deserve an apology.
However, if you:
- Kick someone’s foot, say “Excuse me”.
- Interrupt someone, just stop talking, and wait for your turn.
- Skip someone’s favorite song by accident, say “My bad let me go back to it.”
Things along those lines don’t really need an apology because one they’re not that big of a deal and two it doesn’t speak to who you are as a person.
You’re learning how to carry yourself with confidence, not how to be a doormat.
- Say What You Mean And Mean What You Say
Not only does this apply to carrying yourself with confidence, but this also applies everywhere else in life.
Think about what you’re going to say before you say it, and once you’ve done that, say it with your chest.
It doesn’t matter if no one else agrees with you. They’re entitled to their own opinion the same way that you’re entitled to have your own opinion.
- Speak Up About What Is Important To You
If you know someone or something is bothering you, say something.
If they don’t listen or shut down, then that’s on them. Make your peace and be done with it.
- Stay In Control Of Your Emotions
I’m specifically talking about anger. I’m not saying don’t be angry. But when you do get upset, try to handle it differently.
- Force yourself to take 3 breaths, they don’t even have to be deep breaths, although they do work wonders.
- Walk away
- Don’t say ANYTHING until you’ve thought about it for at least 5 minutes. Set a timer.
You must learn how to stay in control of your emotions. Not only because this will help you carry yourself with more confidence but also because that’s what adults should do.
Your initial response is never your best response, and we must learn how to harness that initial response so we can give our best response.
- On The Days You Don’t Feel Confident, Say This Several Times Throughout The Day
A common myth about confident people is that we feel confident 24/7. So not true.
When I don’t feel confident, I either put something really cute on or I make sure I remind myself throughout the day:
- “I’m confident”
- “I’m beautiful”
- “I’m valued”
It’s important that you remind yourself of all the amazing things about you. Don’t wait for someone else to say it to you, say it to yourself. You deserve to hear it.
How can I carry myself more confident?
How to carry yourself with more confidence:
- Write 3 things you love about yourself each morning
- Be impeccable with your word
- Shoulders back but still look relaxed
- Make a generous amount of eye contact
- Smile more
- Don’t walk into a room looking down or on your phone
- Dresses in clothes that make you feel good
What does it mean to carry yourself with confidence?
To carry yourself with confidence means that you carry yourself in a way that shows you stay true to who you are and are your unapologetic self.
While it may be tempting to follow a step-by-step guide, we’re all different and we all shine in different ways. And ultimately, being confident is about being your true self, not someone else.
How do you give off a confident vibe?
How to Give Off a Confident Vibe:
- Have good posture
- Be relaxed
- Utilize your gorgeous smile
- Have a clean outfit free of wrinkles
- Avoid having to be the loudest person in the room
- Make good eye contact
- Slow down a bit
Carrying yourself with confidence can seem like it’s impossible at first. But each day that you use your top 3 habits from this list, you will start to notice yourself becoming the confident person you were always meant to be.
Each day won’t look the same, and I can’t guarantee you that you won’t still have days where you’re just not at your 100%. We all have those down days. But what I can guarantee you is 2 things.
- Life is cyclical and things always wind up working themselves out for the better
- As long as you don’t give up, you will become who you truly aspire to be
Thank you for reading and until next time my friend!